Battle of the Sexes

Can somebody please tell me why boys are so confusing? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a man hater. It’s just guys are often labelled more straightforward, less complicated and lacking in the emotional intricacies so often assigned to women. And yet recently, my female friends have encountered numerous ridiculous situations with the opposite sex.

There was one guy who, despite only just becoming single, got his flirt on with my friend. They got talking about sex, played some tonsil tennis and then he backed off. Said he wasn’t ready for a girlfriend. All well and good – but she’d already had a conversation with him in which she stated that perhaps he was on the rebound and might they just take it slowly? Mixed messages dot com.

Then there was another friend who, after two years on and off with her beau, decided to call it quits once and for all. She hadn’t heard a peep from him for months until the other night when he drunkenly called her fifty million times. And most of the phone-calls consisted of him putting her on loudspeaker to talk to his mates and singing ‘Can’t take my eyes off you’ at the top of his voice.

And, what about the guy who ignored his girlfriend for months, broke up with her, on her advice left her alone, proceeded to sleep with several girls, and then inform her that he wants her back? Seriously? Because of course your ex becomes infinitely more attractive once he’s drunkenly shagged a few randoms.

Having said that, I’m not implying that us girls are the pinnacle of innocence either. We also do stupid things. Most of us have lived to regret the way we’ve handled a situation with a guy. And what’s frustrating about us is that we often let the guys get away with their stupid indiscretions. How many of us have slept with an ex after they called you? Plenty of us take back cheating boyfriends (I’m looking at you Colleen Rooney/Abbey Clancey) and a lot of us are so scarred from shitty experiences with men that we snowball into new, equally damaging relationships.

I have learnt from my mistakes and I may be speaking for myself, but It’s not like we ask for much from guys– simply that if you like us, tell us and stick to your word. If you’re in a relationship and don’t want to be, end it nicely. If you fancy someone other than your girlfriend or are horny and not getting any, it doesn’t give you a free pass to text message or literally have sex with someone else. And, if you do dump us and we ask you to leave us alone, leave us alone.

Love is simultaneously the most complicated emotion in the world and the one that makes it go round. But if we were all a little more straightforward, then maybe a few of our hearts would still be intact.